Here’s something you probably don’t know about me: I was quite the fisherman in my day. As a child growing up on Prince Edward Island, we would fish mackerel and smelts in the ocean, trout in the rivers.
I got very good at tying flies for fly fishing salmon in Nova Scotia too, much to my mother’s chagrin. I’ll never forget the look on her face when I showed her the fly I made from what is now a bald patch on her mink coat. I explained to her that I HAD to use the mink cuz when I cut three patches out of her Persian Lamb Coat and the lamb texture was just way too curly to get tied properly. She fainted. My neighbors still wonder why I was always chasing their cats, and how their furious felines would show up with what looked like alien crop circles shaved into their backs.
You can only imagine my delight in finding out that Rex Strickland from ODL has organized a shark fishing expedition for the Corporate folks, just before the beginning of the SGO Conference in San Diego. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????? I’ve ALWAYS wanted to go shark fishing, and as a SERIOUS fisherman, have had that on my “Bucket List” ever since my brother did a similar trip last year. This will probably be my only chance to shark fish, so I wanted to be completely prepared for it. When Jen Eberts emailed me about fishing prep, I thought I should share with her some of my thoughts on what that prep should entail, as she is just a girl and probably is clueless about such a thing. Of the two questions she asked, I felt that the “What should I wear” was where I could provide the most guidance. We will be going out late afternoon, and coming in around 8 at night. Being out on the ocean in late January at night, can present some challenges as it will be very cold and damp and windy, and the boat deck can get pretty slimy and messy. I thought that by sharing my clothing tips with you, the franchisees, I may in some way prepare YOU for a similar trip, should you ever be so fortunate to go on one. Perhaps you can print this out and put it in your tackle box....
Dear Jennifer:
In your last email about the fishing expedition, you asked "Do we need extra life insurance for the shark hunting trip?" Why, you are just so practical!!! That is hardly as important as your second question, "What do we need to wear????" When I first heard that we were going shark fishing, I gave much thought to that question, as it is indeed the most important thing. Personally, I went out and bought a pair of mittens, the kind that the top comes off and reveals your bare fingers. This is crucial when calling on the dexterity necessary to bait a hook at night on frigid waters. They were inexpensive, so getting fish guts on them won't be an issue, but quite aside from that, they are totally darling. Fuzzy polar fleece, they are a leopard print, that will SO match my leopard print bag in which I'll be carrying my fishing tackle. Details matter.
Also, to that end, I bought a fabulous matching leopard print hat. Perfect for keeping my freshly coiffed-for-fishing hair from blowing around. Don't forget, we will be getting our picture taken with any fish we catch and we must look totally cute for that. I felt that a matching scarf would be "trying to hard", but perhaps a cashmere ivory colored turtle neck would frame the face for photos and would tone with the whites of the glazed over dead fish eyes. I am still thinking about what color lipstick I should wear. Something that goes equally well with both Tuna and Shark. I think pink goes with tuna, while the redder lipsticks look great in a shark photo, especially if there is shark blood dripping off the teeth. So don't forget: cute mittens, matchy matchy hat, appropriate lipstick. You may even consider a facial foundation with an SPF of at least 50 and a moisturizer. Those bitter winds can be hell on the complexion.
I suspect that you've already given some thought as to what shoes to wear and what fragrance might be appropriate on a fishing trawler full of men and shark bait. I'm not an expert, but might I suggest "Eau de Poisson" dabbed behind your ears. This is actually a fish pheromone and will attract many species of ocean fish, especially if a brisk north wind comes in to play out there. Our fishing guide's name is Captain Crunch and he reassured me that I was on the right track here. I am not real concerned about my shoes, as they will probably not be visible in THE PICTURES, but I know Jimmy Choo makes a darling kitten heel made of alligator skin, so it would be waterproof and the blood and guts should rinse off nicely without damaging them. I wore 6 inch Manolo Blanik stiletos on my last fishing trip and I would definitely NOT recommend those. That was a ridiculous choice, I realize now and everyone laughed at me because they were suede and you KNOW how suede is impossible to clean. Never again would I wear suede shoes on a fishing trip.
That just about covers it. Get out and SHOP, SHOP, SHOP, girlfriend. We will look totally hot in our little fishing outfits and if I have time, I'll will bedazzle some bobbers and lures. I'm sure THAT will attract fish, as the crystals will really sparkle in the low light of evening on the Pacific Ocean.
"Oh a sailor's life is the life for me,
How I love to sail on the bounding sea..."
I'm really looking forward to our fishing adventure. See you at the dock.
Sue "Jaws" Cassidy
Author's Post Script: Didn't catch any sharks and almost got killed by grey whale that breeched right in front of our boat, going 30 mph in the dark! We were 15 miles out in the pacific ocean when it happened and it scared the crap out of all of us, but...it was a magnificient site after we all calmed down. The whale was about 20 feet long and just came out of no where and breeched about 5 feet from our port bow and the captain reacted instantly, cutting power to the engine and everyone screamed, not quite sure what had happened until the falling whale hit the water after it breeched and then it swam under the boat and did another full breech on the other side! By then we had all realized what had happened and were able to watch the second breech with awe instead of the initial terror that we experienced by comingthisclose to hitting it and all being thrown into the pacific ocean at night with no hope of a rescue! And I didn't get a drop of salt water on my darling shoes. In case you were wondering.
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